TWINS

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BABIES
35 years flew by way too fast.

It's still raining here but the electricity has finally stabilized and is allowing me once again to join the year 2008 after what seems like forever in a twilight zone of frozen moments thawed only by the wood fire and old dogs and cats that want to snuggle close and yes more blankets up over our nose and gloves and hats on lots of socks and 27 sweaters .... cute real cute...
my god it was so boring without power. wood stove in my living room, oil lamp to read by, cold food and wind and rain blowing around like it was
trying
to tell me something
and i listened
really hard
i really did.

and i have to admit i cried a bit.
well okay
i cried alot.

well it is so much better today, of course i still only have the wood heat and i still can't stop crying but i have you now too.
and i've missed you all so much.

SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY

and to day is a really special day because thirty five years ago this morning at 4:28 am i gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl who weighted five pounds and then at 4:33 am i gave birth to a beautiful baby boy who was five pounds too....
hooray
it is the best thing i ever did in my life.

i remember the doctor had told me i could take them home if they weighted at least five pounds and so for the last three weeks i had left the cabin in the mountains of santa cruz that was my home that had simply wood heat and an outhouse and literally a hundred steep steps up a mountain to get to it and i went over the hill to the valley to stay with my mother in forced air heat land, in door plumbing and flat streets and family.
i had wanted to have a home birth, but because i was having twins it was too risky. with all that step climbing, and i do remember just hopping up the hill i was in such great shape then but in my eighth month of pregnancy i was going into labor and i was three centimeters dilated already. that's when the doctor told me i had to lay low for awhile and let the babies fatten up a little so i went to my mothers.
my mother and i barely got along so it was not easy being there and by the end of that third week feeling wreckless i took the dogs running around lake laganita and i slipped and fell and my labor started for real. i remember driving home from the lake in my old covertible vw bug with two big wet german shepherds in the back seat and it started to rain so hard and the top was leaking and by big ole belly was contracting so hard up against the steering wheel and i drove back to my moms. she was having a fit that i wouldn't go to the hospital.
i was doing my breathing and trying to get a hold of everyone in santa cruz that i needed to have with me. it took hours and there was a big storm and my mother was screaming 'i don't want these babies to be born in my living room' and i was doing my breathing. finally baby daddy shows up and by 10:30 pm we were all ready for the big show. i had my midwife raven and my labor coach janet and dr creevy and an entire twin team at stanford hospital in palo alto and the baby daddy all in the delivery room with me.
wow. when my daughter Summer entered my world she was screaming and then when i held her she looked like a little bird and then i saw that she was an angel and she stopped crying for a while. i had to hand her off because i was still in labor and my son, Gabe was a footling breech. dr creevy had to go inside and grab his foot and lead him out and when he was finally resting on my belly he was quiet and very blue but he looked at me and i saw he was an angel and he would be fine and they wisked him off and put him into a warm plastic box with heat and oxygen and i couldn't hold him again for eight hours.
wow
thirty five years
the very finest thing i have ever produced
the most difficult
the most rewarding
the most love ever
the most pride
i love you two so much
to the stars and beyond
for ever and eternity and even after that
i will always love you
thank you for that